Personally personal

I think I figured out the secret to happy personal relationships.

What sparked the desire to demystify (unmystify?) a problem that has been troubling people since the dawn of the "couple"? Well, kind of the fact that I was sick of feeling crappy in my personal relationship(s), and questioning why I felt that way. I guess it always starts with a question.

The answer that dawned on me was not what I expected. When are people in a relationship the most happy about their relationship? When they are not IN a relationship. At least, not yet. The initial period of discovery, of being ecstatic about the other person before the two actually get into a relationship, is when a person is the most caring, unselfish, and loving. Unfortunately, people have a tendency to start feeling entitled when they actually get into the relationship. Why is that? For that answer, we can turn to the undeity himself, Buddha. Buddha had part of the answer: the more that a person receives, the more they want.

People are inherently selfish. Once they start getting what they want from a person, they have a tendency to became complacent and lazy about that person, and start demanding more and more until there is nothing more to be had. Instead of relinquishing all your desires however, which Buddha recommends, it is far more rewarding to control your baser instincts. It's not an easy thing to just let everyone and everything go because it's not in a human being's nature to be alone. However, by allowing yourself the luxuries of having someone special, merged with a sense of deeper emotional control, you can suffer just as much as Buddha would've wanted, but with the reward of a stronger, healthier relationship with your significant other.

So what does this all mean?

Simple. Don't take things personally. There's no rule that says when a person gets into a relationship, he/she belongs to that other person. That's why people break up. There's no guarantees. There's no such thing as "meant to be", and that belief should be left in high school. Avoid the pain by not taking everything personally. Get over yourself. Every moment can be new and special, if you have the self-control and love to keep it that way.