Now I'm in LA

And I love this city! Got here a couple of days ago, trying to get the ball rolling for the rest of my life. Sounds kind of scary until you realize you could die tomorrow, so it's not that big of a deal. Puts things into perspective.

Quick blog just because LA is that AWESOME!

Yesterday, I was hanging outside of a casting because my friend had an audition. (By the way, yes I'm that bored that I can just hang out and support a friend.) Anyway, he had driven up all the way from San Diego, so I was waiting for a couple of minutes. There are SO many good-looking model type of people going for this commercial role. Like, the girls were all above 5'10", and all the guys are in full suits. Anyway, I was taking a smoking break outside on the street. I hear a car horn honking, and a guy is leaning out yelling, HEY HEY! in my general direction. I assumed he was talking to me, so I walked towards his car. He looks up at me through his car window, and he asks me "How did you tie your scarf on?" Seriously. No joke. I was thinking to myself, seriously? This guy stopped me in order to ask me how I tied my SCARF. The one I had so nonchalantly draped around my neck because it was cold. Apparently it was a fashion statement. I was the "it" for about ten seconds.

Today was another fiasco. I'm trying to get used to the LA traffic, so I'm driving around, testing different routes through east/ west LA. There's no easy way FYI, just luck. Some days you will just have good luck driving, and on days you need to get somewhere, you will use up all of the extra hour you spent leaving your house early. I'm driving to NoHo to pick up some papers from my agent, and I'm about to take a left onto Sunset from the Northeast corner of the UCLA campus. I notice there are cars that are not moving at all. There are cops posted up in the intersection. I pull up, because it can't take that long. Wrong... I sat there for 20 minutes with an unreasonable hopefulness that I would start moving. A UCLA kid talked to one of the traffic maids to see what was going on. He reported back "That it was just police business." I said loudly, "It better be the damned president of the US if the traffic is held up like this." At this point, the lady in the Merc SUV next to me says "It IS the president." Straight face. I asked "Of the United States of America?" She said yes.

WELL! That was satisfactory. I mean, what the hell, really? What do you say to that? Your condition has been met, the equation is completely rational. Apparently, he visits LA/ Cali periodically to meet with Schwarzenegger. Last year, the same thing happened in Westwood. The lady I was talking to lived up the block and wasn't anticipating being able to go home for another few hours. Luckily, she was not a Republican, and we shot the shit for a little while.

So... if LA is going to be this interesting in the next few weeks, I'm moving somewhere else. New York? IDK.

The problem with love. Or rather, the people who claim to love.

It's the one thing in the world that everyone wants besides money and power that you can lie about and say you have, and pass off convincingly that you do.

I love you. The three easiest words in the world to say, unless you actually feel it and want to say it. Because love takes that much courage to practice in real life. Because once you actually love someone, you realize that everything you say and do will matter that much more to the other person, and you don't want to fuck it all up. There are several problems inherent in love due to the nature of man.

The first of the major pitfalls of saying that you love someone is that most of the time, the person actually believes what they say. It comes with being human. You believe something, and those beliefs get tested time and time again, every day, every second, until you start to subconsciously doubt yourself, ergo, the person that you say you love. Love starts as a feeling, evolves into a belief, then remains consistent with practice. Basically, it's the strongest and weakest thing holding two human beings together.

Second, you can't love till you've felt love given to you. What I mean by that is, each person has a different way to love because they've felt it in different ways. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to sacrifice and wanting to do all you can for those around you. As soon as it becomes about obligation, you've got to take a step back, re-evaluate, and figure out why you feel the way you do. Usually if it's about obligation, it's because you know that the love has only been given by one party, not by both. You feel obligated because you know the other person has their whole heart in it, or because they're not giving enough.

You can't take someone else's definition of love for yourself either. Meaning, every relationship is different; moms and dads, sisters and brothers, lovers. Especially with lovers, things can become crappy real fast. You give love to your significant others in a certain way because that's what you think you're supposed to do. To me, that's basically taking someone else's love, and then pooping all over it.

Before you're so eager to get into love and find a person to be there for you, figure out what YOU are all about. Figure out who you are, your dreams, how you love, and how to be there for someone else before you start demanding all sorts of stuff from someone else. Stop pooping on love and using it for your own nefarious, selfish purposes.