Sex & the City

IT'S A GOOD SHOW, WHAT!

And, I'm excited to see my lady Sarah Jessica Parker up on the big screen for this flick. I've never heard of any straight guy who loves her but me. I don't care, she's hot.

Anyway, the reason for this entry is because I'm watching the episode after Aidan gets back together with Carrie. Carrie had, awhile ago, cheated on Aidan with Mr. Big. She decided she wanted him back, which was the struggle she was having last episode. After being berated by Aidan on his front porch, she ran home thinking there was no hope for their future. However, as expected, Aidan eventually came around.

This episode was all about how Aidan and Carrie reconcile their latent feelings after getting back together. It was really painful to watch. After going through what I've gone through in the past few months as well as last year, it was difficult to watch the show without mirroring my own experiences in the two characters.

One of the things that really struck home for me was Aidan's emotional separation from Carrie. After being hurt so deeply by her, he wanted to be with her, but couldn't bring himself to commit the way that he had before. As Carrie expressed in the show, can you forgive if you can't forget? That's something with which I still struggle, and have no idea whether or not I would put myself in such a vulnerable position again. The soul would love to, but the mind wants revenge and the heart wants to be left alone.

It was very awkward to watch Carrie as she struggled to be the best girlfriend she could be, walking Aidan's dog, reminding Aidan what a great guy he was, and putting herself out there over and over again, even though she could see in his eyes that he was fighting to keep himself from saying all the things that he wanted to say. Would it be a more manly thing to do to keep all the hurt inside and pretend nothing was wrong, or to let it all out and say everything that is eating you up inside?

Another poignant moment was Carrie begging Aidan for forgiveness with her tears. Is that what I want? Do I want tears? Do I want someone to beg for forgiveness? Or do I want more than that? A revenge fuck maybe? At the very least, feel better about myself as a person fuck. How long will it take to go away?

I already know Carrie is going to marry Big in the upcoming movie. I think it should be Aidan. I want the great guy to win.

There is a saving grace to this major plot flaw though. In an industry where the media is flooded with "nice" guys that happen to all be independently wealthy and eligible and win the girl, I think this will portray a reflection of how the world actually is. Great guys don't win. Rich guys do. Because women want security more than anything else in the world. If the guy happens to be halfway decent to her, they luck out. But they're not above selling a little bit of happiness for the house and the Mercedes.